Unleashing Potential: How to Support Your Child's Passion
Margot Machol Bisnow, a distinguished figure with two decades of government experience, including her tenure as an FTC commissioner, joins us to discuss the pivotal themes surrounding the upbringing of creative and resilient children. Her recent literary work, *Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams*, encapsulates 99 inspirational narratives from families who have successfully nurtured their children's aspirations. Throughout our dialogue, Bisnow emphasizes the crucial role of parental support in fostering a child's passion and resilience, asserting that recognizing and encouraging a child's unique interests is paramount. She presents compelling insights gleaned from her extensive research, highlighting that the most successful individuals often attribute their achievements to having someone who believed in them. As we delve into her findings, we explore the profound impact of nurturing environments on children's development and future success.
The conversation with Margot Machol Bisnow presents a compelling narrative on the significance of fostering a supportive environment for children to pursue their passions. With her extensive background in government and child advocacy, Margot discusses her latest book, 'Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams.' The book compiles various families' narratives, illustrating the profound impact of parental encouragement on a child's journey toward realizing their dreams. As Margot articulates, the role of a parent extends beyond mere provision; it encompasses an obligation to nurture a child's unique interests and aspirations, thereby cultivating resilience and confidence that are vital for success.
Throughout the discussion, Margot shares her personal experiences and the invaluable lessons gleaned from her mentors, particularly her parents, who instilled in her the values of honesty and hard work. She emphasizes allowing children to explore their interests, even if they deviate from traditional educational paths. By recounting anecdotes of successful entrepreneurs, she reveals a common theme: the most successful individuals often attribute their achievements to a parent or mentor who believed in them when it mattered most. This underscores the necessity for parents to actively engage with their children, to listen to their passions, and to provide the support they need to flourish.
As the dialogue progresses, Margot highlights the lessons learned from her research, which suggest that resilience, the ability to learn from failure, and the encouragement of one's passions are fundamental to a child's development. She advocates for a shift in parental mindset, urging parents to prioritize their children's emotional and creative growth over societal expectations of success. This enlightening conversation ultimately serves as a reminder that the foundation of a child's future lies in the nurturing and belief they receive from their families, encouraging a generation of confident and resilient individuals.
Takeaways:
- Margot Machol Bisnow emphasizes the importance of nurturing children's passions and supporting their dreams throughout their developmental years.
- The discussion highlights that many successful individuals attribute their achievements to familial support and encouragement during their formative years.
- Parents are encouraged to foster resilience in their children by allowing them to learn from failure and understand its role in growth and success.
- The podcast outlines that a child's happiness and fulfillment often stem from pursuing what brings them joy, regardless of societal expectations for conventional success.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
My guest today is Margo Macaul bisnow.
Speaker A:She spent 20 years in government, including as an FTC commissioner and state staff Director of the President's Council on Economic Advisors.
Speaker A:For the last 10 years, she has spoken to parent groups about raising creative, confident, resilient children who achieve their dreams.
Speaker A:She served as an advisor to EQ Generation, an after school program in New York City that gives children the skills to succeed.
Speaker A:On the advisory board of Muse School in Malibu that prepares young people to live consciously through passion based learning, and on the board of Spark and the journey in Washington D.C.
Speaker A:that mentors low income high school students to achieve college and career success.
Speaker A:Her new book is Raising an How to Help youp Children achieve their dreams.
Speaker A:99 stories from families who did welcome her to the podcast.
Speaker A:Well, Margo, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker A:How are you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm doing great, thank you.
Speaker A:It's so good to have you on.
Speaker A:I'm looking forward to this conversation.
Speaker A:Important topic and I, I love what you, what you're working on and I think it's so invaluable to the community and the society at large.
Speaker A:So I'm looking forward to seeing where this conversation takes us.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:Let me ask you my favorite question.
Speaker A:Ask all my guests.
Speaker A:What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker B:Ooh, I've received so many great pieces of advice.
Speaker B:Does it have to be one?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Some people give me more than one.
Speaker B:So I was thinking about this because I knew you wanted to ask me, and it's so hard to decide what my best piece of advice was.
Speaker B:I think one of them was my dad, who was so honest.
Speaker B:And I remember coming home one day after my first job and saying, you know, I wasn't, wasn't kind of in a funny mood today.
Speaker B:And I didn't like, really do anything for like 30 minutes.
Speaker B:And he said, let me ask you, if you walked into that, you know, your, your office and the cash register was open, would you take money out of it?
Speaker B:And I was like, no, of course not.
Speaker B:And he said, well, not working for 30 minutes, that's like taking money out of it.
Speaker B:They're paying you and you didn't work.
Speaker B:And, and he said something I'll never forget.
Speaker B:He said, if I can't trust you 1% of the time, I can't trust you 100% of the time.
Speaker A:Interesting.
Speaker B:So that's useful, don't you think?
Speaker A:It is very useful.
Speaker A:I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's, it's so true.
Speaker A:I mean, we.
Speaker A:We don't always think of it as that time is money.
Speaker A:We say that, but we don't think of it always that way.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:What's the other piece you got that you wanted to share?
Speaker B:So my younger son, I think I was at a restaurant, you know, this is like 10 years ago, and I'd ordered some meat.
Speaker B:I still ate meat back then.
Speaker B:And I'd ordered it medium rare.
Speaker B:And it came like, well done.
Speaker B:And I was like, ugh.
Speaker B:And, you know, and he said, well, send it back.
Speaker B:And I'm like, no, no, no, that's okay.
Speaker B:And he said, mom, you deserve to ask for what you want.
Speaker A:Cool.
Speaker B:And I just think that's really great advice, especially for women who are often shy about asking for what they want.
Speaker B:And I was at a.
Speaker B:An outdoor sort of gala a few weeks ago, and tables everywhere.
Speaker B:And I'd sat down, and six of us were.
Speaker B:Had sat down and were two empty seats, and somebody came up to the table.
Speaker B:It was for dinner.
Speaker B:And they were smoking.
Speaker B:And I said, excuse me, but would you please not smoke at our dinner table?
Speaker B:And he said, oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker B:And he walked away and he put the cigarette out.
Speaker B:And then, like through the meal, like, we were all talking and we'd become friends, and everyone said, you know, I'm so glad you asked him.
Speaker B:I wanted to ask him, but I didn't have the nerve.
Speaker B:And I'm like, you know, my son told me, you deserve to ask for what you want.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:And it's so applicable.
Speaker A:And you're right about women having sometimes trouble asking for what they want.
Speaker A:So I appreciate that.
Speaker A:I'm curious, as you think about your life and the journey you've been on, who are some people that were really important mentors or maybe a source of inspiration for you on your journey?
Speaker B:Oh, my parents.
Speaker B:I just mentioned my dad.
Speaker B:But my parents were both amazing, and I'm so grateful that they were my parents.
Speaker B:I learned so, so many wonderful things from both of them.
Speaker B:But in terms of my jobs, there was just this one guy.
Speaker B:His name was Burl Sprinkle, and he was my Boss for almost eight years.
Speaker B:I was very young, in my 20s, I got this job at the Treasury Department.
Speaker B:He was the undersecretary for what was.
Speaker B:It's now been split into two.
Speaker B:But we had domestic finance and international economics.
Speaker B:I was his person and I knew nothing.
Speaker B:And I mean, I was hard working and loyal, but I really, I knew nothing.
Speaker B:And he was amazing, and he just taught me so much about economics.
Speaker B:About the world, about, you know, the economy and just how to.
Speaker B:How to behave.
Speaker B:He was so honorable, and he was great.
Speaker B:He would give me lots of advice, and he was just super helpful.
Speaker B:I think about this sometime.
Speaker B:I learned so much from him, and it was such an extraordinary opportunity for me as a young person to have these opportunities.
Speaker B:And, like, we traveled all over the world, and sometimes with other people, and sometimes it was just the two of us, and we'd stay at ambassadors residences and we'd, you know, meet with ministers of finance and stuff.
Speaker B:And I was thinking, like, that would never happen today, that I, a guy in his 60s, would travel alone with a woman in her 20s.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:Like, those mentorship opportunities are just gone because no guy would have the courage to take it on because they just would worry about what people might say or what people might think or something.
Speaker B:But anyhow, I'm glad I had those opportunities because it was really amazing.
Speaker A:That is amazing.
Speaker A:That is so neat.
Speaker A:So tell us a little bit about your journey from what you did in your professional life to what you're kind of doing now.
Speaker A:So kind of walk us through how you got from what you were doing with government to what you're spending your.
Speaker A:Your.
Speaker A:Your passion on now.
Speaker B:Yeah, so most of my career was in international economics and development, which I guess isn't the favorite topic of the day, and not all of it, but some of it.
Speaker B:And anyhow, then my older son started an organization in 15 years ago called Summit or Summit Series, and it was conferences of young entrepreneurs.
Speaker B:And I would go to all these organizations.
Speaker B: And back around: Speaker B:And I would ask them, like, how did you end up the way you are, so willing to work so hard to turn your idea into something real and take on so much risk?
Speaker B:And they all basically told me the same thing.
Speaker B:They all said I had someone who believed in me, someone who told me that I could do anything I put my mind to, and they would always be there for me.
Speaker B:And usually, though, not always it was a parent, and more typically, even, it was their mom.
Speaker B:But it was always someone in their family.
Speaker B:Not always.
Speaker B:90% of the time, it was someone in their family.
Speaker B:And I was just so struck by this.
Speaker B:I just kept talking about it to my kids, and the kids said, well, you have to write a book.
Speaker B:And I was like, I can't write a book.
Speaker B:And they're like, no, no, you have to write a book.
Speaker B:So they talked me into it.
Speaker B:They wrote the forward.
Speaker B:They said, everyone needs someone to believe in them, and sometimes that's even your kids.
Speaker A:That's so neat.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:That is neat.
Speaker B:So go ahead.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I just started interviewing entrepreneurs to see how they were raised, and that's what got me on the journey.
Speaker A:You know, every time I do a book, I always find some interesting things that surprise me.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What surprised you most in your interviews and searches for information about this book?
Speaker B:Oh, what surprised me most?
Speaker B:As I was getting started, someone said to me, I'm so interested in birth order.
Speaker B:I'll bet they're all firsts or onlys.
Speaker B:And actually, that 100% was not true.
Speaker B:What was interesting to me was wherever they were in the birth order, they all told me how great that was.
Speaker B:It was like I was the middle of five, and my mom was so busy with the first two, and then she was so busy with the last two, and she just kind of left me alone to do my thing, you know, I was the youngest of seven, and my mom, by the time my parents.
Speaker B:By the time they got me, they were just like, do whatever you want, you know, And I got to figure stuff out myself.
Speaker B:You know, I was the middle of two, and the first one was this, and the youngest was this.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:So it's just so.
Speaker B:Anyhow, very few of them were first and only.
Speaker B:So many things surprised me.
Speaker B:It had nothing to do with how educated the parents were.
Speaker B:It had nothing to do with how wealthy the parents were.
Speaker B:It had nothing to do with how good a student they were when they were growing up.
Speaker B:It had nothing to do with whether they had shown extraordinary leadership qualities when they were growing up.
Speaker B:Some had.
Speaker B:Some were good students, some were great leaders when they were in high school, but not all of them.
Speaker B:So it's just there were so many things that were really interesting to me.
Speaker A:So you picked several people to put in this book.
Speaker A:How did you narrow it down to the people you decided to put in the book?
Speaker B:Yeah, so there are 70 of them and half men, half women.
Speaker B:I wanted a very diverse group.
Speaker B:Every race, every religion, every socioeconomic background.
Speaker B:Born in the US Born overseas, small towns, big cities, married parents, single moms, divorced parents.
Speaker B:I mean, just every family size, everything I could think of and going into for profit, nonprofit artists, activists, just.
Speaker B:And my older son, he actually said to me, when I was getting started, he said, mom, don't just do the billionaires.
Speaker B:First of all, they're all white men.
Speaker B:And second of all, let's face it, that's not what most people are going to end up being.
Speaker B:The point isn't raise your children this way because they'll become a billionaire.
Speaker B:It's raise your children this way because they can find something they love that gives them joy that they'll want to work at, that they can be in control of their life, and they'll be happier.
Speaker B:And that's, you know, they could have five employees.
Speaker B:They could become a minister.
Speaker B:They could.
Speaker B:And start a church.
Speaker B:They can do lots of different things.
Speaker B:It's not like, you know, the goal is to become a billionaire.
Speaker B:The goal is to find something that gives you joy that you can do for your life.
Speaker A:As you think about the people you interviewed and the stories that you gained from your book, are there some common themes that kind of stand out from across all the different people you interviewed?
Speaker B:Yeah, there were a total of 10 different rules.
Speaker B:I'm happy to go into them.
Speaker A:Sure, that'd be great.
Speaker B:To my surprise, none of these parents knew each other.
Speaker B:None of the parents of these entrepreneurs, none of the entrepreneurs grew up knowing each other.
Speaker B:And they all, as I said, they all came from very different backgrounds, and they all basically raised their kids exactly the same.
Speaker B:And it kind of knocked my socks off when I realized this.
Speaker B:And I went from being, yeah, I'll do this.
Speaker B:Sure.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:To, like, oh, my God, I have to spread the word.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:And I would love to talk about all of these.
Speaker B:The number one thing is that every one of these future entrepreneurs had a passion outside of school when they were growing up.
Speaker B:Every single one of them.
Speaker B:And in every case, their parents supported that passion.
Speaker B:Sometimes it took a big gulp, but eventually, when the parents saw how much joy it gave their child, they were just, we love that you're doing that.
Speaker B:We love that you're working so hard at it.
Speaker B:We love that you're getting so much joy out of it.
Speaker B:And we're so proud of you for that.
Speaker B:So that, to me, is the biggest takeaway, is see what gives your child joy and then encourage that.
Speaker B:And then if they start working really, really hard at it, let them know how proud you are of them for their success in that.
Speaker B:Even if maybe their grades in trigonometry or physics are not so good.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Because at the end of the day, whether or not they learn trigonometry really won't matter.
Speaker B:But at the end of the day, if they've developed a good work ethic and learned to work hard and developed grit and resilience and.
Speaker B:And determination and all these things that will make them successful later in life, it's actually so much better for them.
Speaker A:That's really helpful because I think sometimes we always want to support what our kids are doing.
Speaker A:But sometimes I've heard parents say, well, you're never going to be opera singer, so maybe you shouldn't focus on singing or acting as opposed to, like, if that's where your passion is, let's pour into that and see where that leads.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:And I mean, I talk to parents of high school kids and I say, so what is their passion?
Speaker B:And they're like, oh, I don't really know, I haven't really noticed.
Speaker B:And I'm like, then first of all, you're not paying attention.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And second of all, maybe you've never given them the time and the space to figure it out or when they start doing something they love.
Speaker B:Just like you're saying, they're like, stop spending so much time on that and go back and study.
Speaker B:And, you know, everybody, I feel this so strongly.
Speaker B:I didn't feel this before I started this project, but.
Speaker B:And you probably believe this also, but I believe every, every person is born with a gift.
Speaker B:Every person is born with unique qualities and skills and things that give them joy and things that they were kind of meant to do.
Speaker B:And parents, so many parents today, they.
Speaker B:They think they know what's best for their child because it worked for them when they were growing up.
Speaker B:And so they want their child to follow a path and that path isn't really there anymore.
Speaker B:I mean, it's not like if you just somehow graduate from college, you can get a good job and your life will be good.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And so they're just pushing their kids to, you know, to spend all this time studying every single one of their classes and doing all these extracurricular activities they think is going to help them get into the right college and doing all this stuff.
Speaker B:And the child never really gets the chance to explore the thing that gives them joy.
Speaker B:My, my.
Speaker B:I have a one grandchild who just turned six.
Speaker B:And I went to his kindergarten class and the teacher had asked all these kids, like, to say what they wanted to be when they grew up and to draw like little pictures.
Speaker B:And it's, you know, here's five year olds and they're like, I want to be a policeman, I want to be a nurse, I want to be a teacher, I want to be a dancer, I want to, you know, whatever.
Speaker B:At five years old, there's things they like, right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Different for every kid.
Speaker B:I mean, this one likes to sing and this one likes to ride bikes and this one likes to, you know, do something else.
Speaker B:And it's just we, we need to pay attention and we need to let them pursue the thing that gives them joy.
Speaker A:I've watched my wife and I like to watch American Idol, that the singing show.
Speaker A:And it's always funny if you watch some of the people who are on the show, they were when they were younger, they were always singing around the house.
Speaker A:And you can tell that their parents, the ones who sometimes make it far, encourage that.
Speaker A:And they're still singing today.
Speaker A:And they talk about how, you know, their parents filmed it, they encouraged it, they gave them lessons, but they, like you just said, they poured into.
Speaker A:This is something you love to do.
Speaker A:How can we support you in that?
Speaker A:You may never become, you know, Stevie Wonder or whoever else maybe, but, but you love this and you can make a career out of it if that's what you want to do.
Speaker A:Let's support you in that.
Speaker A:So I like that reminder for us as parents, right?
Speaker B:And even, you know, maybe they won't end up becoming that opera singer or whatever, but maybe they will be able to do something else in opera.
Speaker B:Maybe they'll be able to help.
Speaker B:You know, maybe they can teach it in high school, right?
Speaker B:Maybe they can.
Speaker B:Maybe they can work behind the scenes in operas.
Speaker B:Maybe they can, you know, train opera singers.
Speaker B:Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker B:You know, maybe they can do things with commercials helping people sing better, you know, or I mean, there's things that we can't even imagine.
Speaker B:Like, I don't even know what careers there are for people who are singers like that.
Speaker A:Right, exactly.
Speaker B:Singers.
Speaker B:But that's, you know, they let them find it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:Are there some stories in the book that really kind of stand out for you that, that still stick in your mind?
Speaker B:Oh, there's so many.
Speaker B:I could talk for hours about all the stories in my book.
Speaker B:So you want a couple?
Speaker A:Sure, I'd love to.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:So John Chu, who's the movie director who just did Wicked, and he was, his parents were immigrants.
Speaker B:They ran a restaurant in Palo Alto, Chef Choose.
Speaker B:They wanted their kids to have, you know, professional jobs.
Speaker B:And from like fourth grade, I think he was in love with making movies.
Speaker B:He'd somehow gotten a little movie camera and filmed their vacation.
Speaker B:And he was just, that was his passion.
Speaker B:And he was, had a little movie company in high school and he was just doing all these things with movies.
Speaker B:And because they're in Palo Alto with a, a well known Chinese restaurant and all the people who were doing had beta computers, you know, would knew how much he loved them and they'd give them to him.
Speaker B:And he was just.
Speaker B:Anyhow, he loved it so much.
Speaker B:And his parents just wanted him to be like, professional, you know, like a doctor or something, a lawyer.
Speaker B:And he is in high school, and his mom came into his room at night and he was supposed to be asleep or studying.
Speaker B:And he was, you know, in bed working on his Lapt up, doing a movie.
Speaker B:And his mom said, put that away and go to sleep.
Speaker B:And you have to be ready for school in the morning.
Speaker B:And he burst into tears and said, you can't make me stop.
Speaker B:I love this.
Speaker B:It's what I want to do with my life.
Speaker B:And she said, go to sleep.
Speaker B:We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Speaker B:And she picked him up at school the next day, and she'd been to the library and she had 10 filmmaking books.
Speaker B:And she said, if you want to do it, be the best.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:And he said at that point, like, his parents were the most supportive in the world, so be pretty proud now.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So another story that stands out you.
Speaker A:That you wanted to share.
Speaker B:Okay, here's a very different kind of one.
Speaker B:So this guy, Thomas View, he was also.
Speaker B:He was actually an immigrant.
Speaker B:He came from Vietnam.
Speaker B:They escaped communism in a crazy, hazardous, scary story, as opposed to John's parents, who had both come from different countries to study here and met in the US and he was always a good student, but he also fell in love with video games.
Speaker B:And as long as he was getting straight A's, it was okay with his parents.
Speaker B:He could spend all the time he wanted on video games just so that he, you know, was pursuing the right path.
Speaker B:And he was, I think, a semester short of graduating from college with a degree in something, you know, sciency.
Speaker B:And he had an opportunity to meet someone from Electronic Arts and told them about an idea he had.
Speaker B:And anyhow, he dropped out of college and became.
Speaker B:Went over to.
Speaker B:Joined their first intern class.
Speaker B:And he ended up as lead producer on League of Legends, which is a huge video game with, you know, millions of people that play it.
Speaker B:And then the lead producer on Arcane, a TV show for Netflix based on that video game.
Speaker B:And he's since kind of moved on to something else.
Speaker B:But he said his.
Speaker B:His mom would like, call him every few weeks and say, you're sure you're happy?
Speaker B:You're sure you don't want to go into physics or whatever it was.
Speaker B:He's like, yeah, I'm happy, Mom.
Speaker B:She's like, okay, as long as you're happy.
Speaker B:But Anyhow, I mean, there's just like so many stories like this Jesse Barber, and he was never, like, liked school very much.
Speaker B:And then one day he was talking to someone and they said, yeah, I'm at culinary school.
Speaker B:He's like, wait, wait, what?
Speaker B:Like, like, like you don't have to study, like, math.
Speaker B:You can, like, study cooking.
Speaker B:And so he told his parents he was dropping out of wherever he was in college and going to culinary school instead.
Speaker B:And they were like, okay, as long as you're happy.
Speaker B:And now he runs several big deal restaurants in Los Angeles.
Speaker A:That's amazing.
Speaker A:As you think about what you've learned from writing this book, is there some practical advice you have for parents who want to help their kids achieve their dreams?
Speaker B:Well, it's kind of like we were saying.
Speaker B:It's see what gives your kids joy and then encourage them to pursue it.
Speaker B:And if they pursue it for a few years and then they want to move on, don't say, you can't quit now.
Speaker B:You've gotten so good to say, that's great.
Speaker B:And I mean, there's so many lessons that can be learned from this.
Speaker B:One of them is the right attitude toward failure.
Speaker B:All of these future entrepreneurs grew up knowing that failure is how you learn and grow and that you don't worry about failing when you, when, when something didn't go well, if they missed the extra kick, you know, or didn't hit the home run or, or, I mean, you know, or, or didn't get the part or didn't get a good grade or whatever, the parents wouldn't scold them or criticize them.
Speaker B:They'd say, what did you learn?
Speaker B:What do you think you'll do differently next time?
Speaker B:Can I support you in any way, you know, or do you think you've got it figured out?
Speaker B:And so they all learned resilience, which is super, super, super important because nobody's going to go through life not failing, right?
Speaker B:And so often now these, you know, so many parents, they want to protect their child from everything and, oh, it wasn't your fault.
Speaker B:Oh, we'll fix that for you.
Speaker B:That was the other person's fault.
Speaker B:Don't worry about it, which is terrible.
Speaker B:It's just like it didn't work, you know, you didn't get any playing time this week.
Speaker B:Do you think maybe you didn't work hard enough?
Speaker B:What do you think you could do differently next week?
Speaker B:You know, you didn't get that part.
Speaker B:Why do you think that is?
Speaker B:What did you learn?
Speaker B:How.
Speaker B:How will you do it differently next time?
Speaker B:You know, just, it's a hard thing for a parent.
Speaker B:You want to protect your kids, you know, but you have to let them fail and you have to let them understand that failure is, is how you'll get better.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:So how's your book being received?
Speaker B:Pretty good, I think.
Speaker B:Nobody disagrees with it.
Speaker A:That's good to know.
Speaker B:Somebody sent me the YouTube of Roger Federer giving the commencement address at Dartmouth last year.
Speaker B:And here's like, you know, he was like the greatest tennis player, right.
Speaker B:And he said, I won 80% of my matches, but I lost 50% of the points I played.
Speaker B:He said, if you keep looking back and focusing on what you did wrong, you're never going to move ahead.
Speaker B:He said, keep going, keep looking forward, try to realize, get the most you can out of your mistake and then don't, don't focus on it.
Speaker B:He said, if I was constantly focused on the 50% of the points I was missing, I'd never have succeeded.
Speaker A:That's a good point.
Speaker A:So what do you, what do you got coming up in the future now?
Speaker A:If you've written this book, you got, you got a book, Part two on the way or.
Speaker B:Well, this is part two, actually.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:I redid it.
Speaker B:I put in pictures of every one of the entrepreneurs when they were young and than today because I want people to look at them, some of them are famous and, and just think, well, they were just like an ordinary person.
Speaker B:You know, maybe they're a serial entrepreneur who started three billion dollar businesses, but look at, they were just this dorky little kid, you know.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Which I think is really cool.
Speaker B:And I just think, I just, it's so important to me now to try to get this message out to people and to try to say like, support your child's passion and you know, help them, help them understand that losing isn't, is, is okay and you know, be there for them.
Speaker B:And you know, every single entrepreneur I talked to said John Chu is, is one, for example, who said, I always knew if I failed I could go home and this, the courage to take risks.
Speaker B:They all said I never had to go home, I never had to.
Speaker B:Well, one of them actually did have to move back home for a few years during the, you know, recession and you know, his business kind of fell apart and he, he just powered down, didn't take any income for a few years, moved back home with his parents and now his know, he's got a billion dollar company, but generally they didn't have to move back home, but they always knew they could and they Always knew their parents would and their family was there for them even if they were struggling or even if they failed or even if things didn't go well.
Speaker B:So I love that.
Speaker A:As you think about this book, how would you use this book?
Speaker A:I know at one time you worked a lot with low income high school students.
Speaker A:How would you take this book and kind of use it to inspire what you work, work with those young people to kind of see.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know what, you do have unlimited potential if you pour into what, like we talked before, the gifts that God has given you, figuring out what those gifts are.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And I just think it's so important for, for everybody to hear that lesson.
Speaker B:And honestly, there's a lot of poor parents who understand that better than a lot of rich parents.
Speaker B:You know, I mean, there's a lot of rich parents who, it's just like, this is the path, like this is the way you're going to do it.
Speaker B:Like I always think about, do you remember the college admissions scandal?
Speaker A:I do, yes.
Speaker B:And, and all these people were saying, oh, you know, these rich kids, they have it all, you know, their parents will do anything for them.
Speaker B:And I was, and I thought, I feel so sorry for these kids because basically what their parents were saying to them is if you don't go to this school, you can't be a success in life.
Speaker B:And if this school knew the real you, they wouldn't want you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That's what they're saying.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:If they knew who you were and what you had to offer, they wouldn't want that.
Speaker B:And so we have to pretend you're somebody other than what you are so that you can kind of sneak in and try to get by, can you think of a worse message to tell your child?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And then when you fail because you aren't that person that you pretended to be, which you're probably destined to do because you can't be someone you're not.
Speaker A:I mean, you're destined to destroy their self esteem, their own self image.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:How about, you know, if this school doesn't want you, that's cool.
Speaker B:Let's find the school who does want you, where you can thrive because you're an amazing person.
Speaker B:And we're going to find a place that recognizes how amazing you are and helps you develop your talents.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So I'd rather be a child of a poor family that believes in me than a child of a rich family who says if you don't follow this path, you can't be successful.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Because one is definitely more Healthy.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Something that might interest you since you're a minister is it really surprised me how many of these entrepreneurs were raised with faith and how many of them were raised to believe that they were on earth for a purpose and that they were here to do some good in the world.
Speaker B:And even of course, the ones starting non profits.
Speaker B:But, and I, I mentioned a number of those, but, but also the for profits, I mean they were all, all like, how can I make the world a little better?
Speaker B:How can I, you know, produce detergent that's not full of chemicals, you know.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That kind of thing?
Speaker B:I mean, how can I make people happier by, by producing a certain kind of product or a service or, you know, help people's lives?
Speaker B:And it just, you asked me at the beginning, like, what surprised me that it, one of the things that surprised me a lot was how how many of these people were raised with a huge amount of faith.
Speaker A:It does help ground you because it, faith does tell you that you were, God did create you for a reason and that you were, you're not an accident.
Speaker A:You're, you're here because you have a purpose.
Speaker A:And tapping into that God given purpose gives your life meaning and direction.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:And helps.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And helps you be resilient when the first path doesn't work out.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And doesn't always work out, but usually it doesn't work out.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:Nothing's going to be smooth.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker B:I mean, there's nobody who starts something and comes up with the perfect idea for a product or a service and just whooshes through life making it bigger and better.
Speaker B:That's just not how life works.
Speaker B:You constantly have to be asking, is this the right product?
Speaker B:Is this the right service?
Speaker B:How can I do it differently?
Speaker B:How can I do it better?
Speaker B:How should I change it?
Speaker B:How can I improve it?
Speaker B:What are people saying about it?
Speaker B:What are other people doing in the same area that me, you know, that, that I'm competing with?
Speaker B:How can I, how can I make mine, you know, different and better?
Speaker B:And how can I make my employees happier and more productive and more fulfilled and you know, make them really want to contribute to this organization?
Speaker B:And I mean, you have to keep asking, you have to keep wanting it to be, to be better.
Speaker A:Definitely.
Speaker A:I'm curious.
Speaker A:This is my other favorite question to ask my guest.
Speaker A:Now you've done this book and you have this wonderful direction you're heading.
Speaker A:What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:You know, if more parents can look at their child and say, I, I Want to see what gives you joy and I want to support that.
Speaker B:I feel like there's so many unhappy kids in the world.
Speaker A:True.
Speaker B:And it, it makes me so sad.
Speaker B:And I think every parent wants their child to be, you know, happy and successful and they're not doing what they're doing to be mean or because they don't care.
Speaker B:They're doing what they're doing because it's how life used to work.
Speaker B:And they think that's what you have to do and they don't understand that it's not right.
Speaker B:It's such a big.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm sorry to be.
Speaker A:No, go ahead.
Speaker B:It's such a big gulp for parents.
Speaker B:Like, my dad was a professor.
Speaker B:It didn't occur to me that it was an option that I could have a kid who didn't graduate from college.
Speaker B:Like, it's just like I didn't think I'd have a kid who was a mass murderer.
Speaker B:I didn't think.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Like it just doesn't didn't enter my sphere of possibilities.
Speaker B:It's, you know what, you know, of course you'll graduate from college and then what kind of graduate degree do you want?
Speaker B:You know, like it's just when I grew up, everybody.
Speaker B:I didn't know anybody who hadn't graduated from college.
Speaker B:Like it just wasn't a thing.
Speaker B:I grew up in university towns, you know, I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Speaker B:Like everybody that like, that's what people did.
Speaker B:And so my older son dropped out after two and a half years.
Speaker A:How was that adjustment for you?
Speaker B:Big Gulp it turned out, I mean, and this is something else that's been so illuminating for me because it was such a big gulp.
Speaker B:It was so hard for me to.
Speaker B:And, and he said, well, I'm just going to drop out for a semester, you know, and then we'll see.
Speaker B:And it turned out it was actually like the best thing he could have done because one and a half years later, a month before he would have graduated from college, he was really interested in being an entrepreneur and he didn't think he was cool enough for young entrepreneurs to meet with him.
Speaker B:And so he cold called 18 entrepreneurs under the age of 30 and invited them for an all expense paid ski weekend in Utah because he wanted to meet these people and they had ne.
Speaker B: This was: Speaker B:They had never met anybody like themselves before.
Speaker B:And the.
Speaker B:These were people who, they were just sort of starting out, but they, I mean it was Sam Altman from like OpenAI chatgpt.
Speaker B:It was Blake Mycosky from Tom Shoes.
Speaker B:I mean, all these people were just starting out, and they had never met anybody like themselves before.
Speaker B:And they all said, you have to do this again.
Speaker B:And I want to bring five friends.
Speaker B:And that was the beginning of his organization.
Speaker B: graduate and he graduated in: Speaker B:And then he started working for a couple years and then he.
Speaker B:Someone else would have done it.
Speaker B:He wouldn't have been the first.
Speaker B:And the reason it's been so very successful is because it was the first.
Speaker B:So I learned a big lesson, like, life is different, right?
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You can't.
Speaker B:You can't try to force your kids to live the life you lived because it's a different world.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:So where can people find your book, Raising an Entrepreneur?
Speaker B:So make sure you get the second edition, which is this one.
Speaker B:How to help your children achieve their dreams.
Speaker B:99 stories from families who did.
Speaker B:And it is on Amazon and I have a hard copy.
Speaker B:I have a.
Speaker B:You can do it on Kindle if you like to read on an online.
Speaker B:And I also actually read it out loud, so it's on audible if you want to listen.
Speaker B:And I have a website, raising an entrepreneur.com, which is.
Speaker B:Has links to my.
Speaker B:All my articles and podcasts, soon to be this one.
Speaker B:And some stories in there about some of the entrepreneurs in the book.
Speaker B:And I hope people get it and listen and like it and let me know.
Speaker B:They can.
Speaker B:They can contact me through the website.
Speaker B:And I'm on Instagram.
Speaker B:I keep forgetting to say argobiz now.
Speaker B:And I guess I'm on LinkedIn and I don't know, I think I'm on.
Speaker A:Everything but it x Twitter thread.
Speaker B:No, I'm not actually.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:But my son sends me the things I ought to read, so I keep up.
Speaker A:Good.
Speaker A:Well, Margo, thanks so much for taking the time to share your dream, your story, your book, encouraging us as parents to.
Speaker A:To look for ways to get behind our kids and find out what they're passionate about and support that.
Speaker A:As we wrap up.
Speaker A:Is there a closing thought you want to share with the audience about what we talked about today?
Speaker A:Kind of a summary of key points you want to leave with them?
Speaker B:I just would say, like, just from the time your kids are little all the way through, you know, college, just see what gives them joy and encourage them to pursue that and give them the time and the space to follow their dream and know that you'll be there for them through all the setbacks because you know that eventually they'll be successful.
Speaker A:Well, Margo, thanks so much for taking the time, and thanks for being a wonderful guest on the podcast.
Speaker B:Well, thank you so much, Keith.
Speaker B:It was really fun.
